0 Funny Letter

I snagged this from Stone_Princess.

Dear 2978,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it that night Outside of Chicago and I saw you Sit at My father.

I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist.

I'm returning Your love letters to you, but I'll keep Your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I Was interviewed by the Times about Eggplant-fetishism.

Best regards,
Amore


Instructions:

Do it like this,

Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).


I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-



1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat; With George Bush and his wife




4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out



5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk



6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; ManO.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; HighHouse; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed



7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks



8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service



9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college



10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked



11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Your embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Fuck off now
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

1 Yen's $200 Plus Contest

Yen is celebrating 3 years of blogging and she's celebrating it by having a contest in her website until October 24. Winners will be picked through Random.org. and will be announced on October 31st! Here are the prizes.

First Prize
$ 40 from Yennygirl
$ 10 and 500 EC From Swept Away
2000 EC from Indo Contest
1000 EC from A Life in Bloom
1000 EC from Affiliatizer
1000 EC from ThemeLib
125×125 ad for one month from Wonderful Things in Life
125×125 ad for one month from Creative in Me
Symphony of Love Pictorial Ebook of Love Quotations
~{values at $6.95} from Symphony of Love
Blog Review plus 125×125 ad for one month from Live From Waterloo

Second Prize
$10 from Yennygirl
$10 from My Happy Place
$10 from Suburban Sass
2000 EC Credits from WordPress for Beginners
1000 EC from Because Life is a Blessing
1000 EC from When Silence Speaks
1000 EC from Wiehanne Lounge
125×125 ad for one month from Music of My Heart
Symphony of Love Pictorial Ebook of Love Quotations
~{values at $6.95} from Symphony of Love

Third Prize
$10 from Fab Finds, Etc.
$10 from I AM DZOI
$10 from Mommy Talks. Wife Stories
1000 EC from Digiscraptology
1000 EC points from Wonderful Things in Life
1000EC points from Heart Random
125×125 ad for one month from LittlePeanut
Symphony of Love Pictorial Ebook of Love Quotations
~{values at $6.95} from Symphony of Love

Fourth Prize
$5 and 500 EC From Official Chosen Fate
$ 8 and 200 EC from Walk on Red
$5 from Living the Healthy Life
1000 EC from Etc-Atbp.
125×125 ad for one month from Around the World
Symphony of Love Pictorial Ebook of Love Quotations
~{values at $6.95} from Symphony of Love

Fifth Prize
$ 5 from Stripe and Yellow
$ 5 from Doll Me Up
300 EC From The Scrapaholic Me
200 EC From It’s Where My Heart Is
125×125 ad for one month from Blogging for Bloggers
125×125 ad for one month from Pea in a Pod
RSS Text Link for one month from Blog for Beginners
Symphony of Love Pictorial Ebook of Love Quotations
~{values at $6.95} from Symphony of Love

Go and visit her blog if you want to join. :)